Therapy for Men Struggling With Anger
People who struggle with anger are not bad. Many of them are living under tremendous pressure with no outlet for their pain.
We know what anger feels like, but we can break it down to get a bit of distance from the physical sensations. We might feel heat on the skin, a tight jaw, clenched hands, and fast breathing. Our mind will also tend to laser focus on one thing. This is when anger becomes truly dangerous, when it threatens to take away our choices.
But the anger is often only a top layer; it rides on top of other states like hurt, fear, shame, or exhaustion. When we bottle up our anger, we are trapping ourselves with all that pain underneath it as well.
Integrating anger
Anger issues can be difficult to talk about for obvious reasons. It takes courage to speak up about our fears and regrets, but anger carries an additional stigma. Anger can make others see us as a threat. Anger makes us look and feel like the villain, and in that sense, it is extremely isolating.
We need ways to integrate our anger, to honour the message of this emotion without allowing it to take the reins. Unfortunately, the people closest to us who we would normally confide in are often involved in causing or setting off our anger. A more neutral space is needed to express or diffuse our frustration.
In therapy, we treat anger as information. We start by looking into whatever needs we have that aren’t being met, or how our boundaries keep getting crossed, or the losses that we have yet to properly grieve.
Once we can hear what the anger is trying to say, we can express our frustrations with real strength instead of causing harm. This is a skillset we can use for life.
Ready to talk?
I offer counselling appointments in Penrith, or tele-health Australia-wide. After hour appointments available. No GP referral required.
The first step is to book a free 10 minute phone chat. ​​