Therapy for Men Experiencing
Self-Hatred
Some people think that human beings are ultimately selfish and are just looking out for themselves. A therapist sees the opposite every day.
We are each more than just one self, we are a collection of competing drives and impulses. This creates the potential for conflict and self-hatred.
Many people dislike themselves intensely and punish themselves in sustained, brutal ways, often for things they never chose.
Breaking the loop
From the inside, self-hatred feels like a running commentary grading everything you do. You may get sudden flushes of embarrassment, or catch yourself sabotaging good parts of your life. Those voices feel like they belong to you now, but they usually began elsewhere and their claims are rarely true.
A crucial realisation for people living with Self-Hatred is that self acceptance is far more productive than so-called self improvement. The aim is not to perfect or change who you are, but to learn about yourself and integrate your many parts into a whole. The aim is to have all the oars pulling your boat in the same direction.
This might sound like a lofty goal, but it is far more practical than trying to deny or edit some parts of your personality. Those parts will always resist.
Help is available
Values based techniques like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) are useful in combating self hatred because they help us live in sync with our deepest morals.
Targeted approaches like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can teach you to challenge negative self-judgments as they arise, shifting you toward a worldview that is both more positive and more realistic.
Self hatred is an increasingly common (though often invisible) problem. The good news is that strong negative self-beliefs are always partial fictions. They do not survive the deeper understanding and perspective that we can achieve in therapy.
Ready to talk?
I offer counselling appointments in Penrith, or tele-health Australia-wide. After hour appointments available. No GP referral required.
The first step is to book a free 10 minute phone chat. ​​