Isn't Therapy a Scam?
Some of the men I work with are sceptical about therapy and these objections should be taken seriously. I have outlined some common reservations below with my own responses.
Isn’t most therapy a con or a waste of time?
Some therapy goes nowhere, either because the therapist is not applying their training properly or because they don’t work well with their client. This is the same in any service.
However, I take the ethics of therapy very seriously and will happily refer on clients that I am not suited for. I have a wide network of referral relationships just for this purpose, and am always happy to help someone find their right fit.
I have been isolated for years and I don’t fit into society. How can therapy help someone with such huge disadvantages?
Therapy is a very powerful tool, it is not limited to ‘everyday’ problems. When a therapist and client are working well together, they can achieve extremely deep insights and results for the life of the client.
But it is true that some people’s problems are more extreme and disruptive to their lives. I maintain a policy of referring clients who require specialist care and I help those clients find the right person.
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What are you actually promising?
I am promising to listen to you without judgment and to help you improve your life within a proven therapeutic structure. As with everything else in life, you get out of therapy what you put in.
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Isn’t therapy just about labelling people’s problems?
No. I’m here to improve your life by helping you understand it. We can do that entirely outside the context of diagnostic labels.
Therapy is not masculine
I don’t think that being masculine and engaging seriously with therapy is a contradiction. After all, if your aim is self-command, you need a clear vision.
Person-Centred Therapy is founded on respect for the individual, and it emphasises compatibility between therapist and client. So if you feel we would work well together, the process probably has something to offer you.
Are you just going to make me talk about my childhood?
My style of therapy is client-led. Your problems don’t have to be in your childhood, and you don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to talk about. All I ask is that you talk about what’s on your mind, whatever has been bothering you or holding you back.
Why not just compartmentalise and push on?
That works, until the box with all your feelings in it starts leaking.
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Therapy is simply a practical solution for anyone who is up against complex emotional problems. Figuring out where our lives are going wrong is not easy; it takes time, trust, and focus. Likewise, confronting those issues is much easier when you have help.
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Therapy is insulated from the rest of your life, a place where only your problems and your perspectives matter. Many people find this helpful, even essential, for emotional progress.