You Are Not Heavy

The deepest feelings should be addressed in the simplest language: You are not heavy. You are not a burden on the people who love you.

Too many young men have it in their mind that leaning on others depletes some hidden bank account where their social value is stored. They think that the people around them who love them and have shared the good times will not want to be there to help.

The awful thing is that they are not all wrong. Some people are abandoned in their time of need. But there is an even greater tragedy in suffering because you refuse to reach out to the people who really do care.

Why Are We Like This?

I don’t think its stoicism or masculinity or any other concept that stands in our way when we refuse to lean on our network. I think it’s a deep feeling that we will be despised or let down. And this feeling is in its own way a disservice to our loved ones, who would often be proud to share our hardships and help us make it out the other side. For proof of this just look at your own life and the pride you took in stepping up for people you care about.

Serving Saves

One of the key breakthroughs in depression recovery is finding what brings you contentment. Many of us feel a deep drive to be useful. If we train ourselves to spot the signs, we can start to see that every day holds out opportunities to help others and from there we can make a positive cycle. The more we help the better we feel the more we can be of service. There is no shame or subservience in this, simply the acknowledgement that we are social animals who seek strength in one another.

If you are not there yet, that’s fine. All that means is that its your turn to receive help, to lean on other people and to be reminded that you are worth saving. You are not heavy.

Look at your own life and the pride you took in stepping up for people you care about.